


Hope Like a Hole

by disorientedscribbler



Series: Something Like a Prayer [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Family Drama, Jakku, Kidnapping, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-01-06 01:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disorientedscribbler/pseuds/disorientedscribbler
Summary: “My associates have indicated a map that may be of great value to you, Lord Vader. A map that leads to Luke Skywalker.”Vader had heard rumors and he’d had his doubts about Ben’s certainty. But they had always been just that: rumours and doubts. Nothing substantial. Nothing like a map.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from song 'Terrifyer' by AJJ.
> 
> A little reminder: in this AU Ben fell at age 17 (presumably having Vader alive and still a looming threat to the peace of the galaxy made Luke more aware of Ben's darkness). 
> 
> As usual, this isn't beta'd so let me know if you notice any defects I missed.

“I hate the Sith Artifacts.”

Ben can’t help but agree as he, Bat, Roth, and Shi’Ko stand around the body of a Trandoshan, all dripping various amounts of blood.

Most people see the black armour the four of them wear--and the red Imperial insignia emblazoned on the chest and arm pieces of said armour--and don’t bother to make a fuss. Most people just point them in the correct direction or hand over whatever they are asking for with not a word. Most people don’t run or hide or (worse) fight.

Only the people with Sith treasures try any or all of these foolish tactics. They are usually the ones that have to be killed.

No one speaks.

Roth turns with a sound of disgust at the mess and Ben hears him exploring the rest of the apartment. He’s likely looking for a spot far enough away from the rest of them to call his ‘associates.’

Ben _should_ be worried about the secrets he knows Roth is keeping. Most days he can’t bring himself to care. Today is one such day. They’ve spent weeks hunting.

He bends over to extract the amulet from what was left of the Trandoshan’s corpse--snapping the cord of leather that was used to keep it around their neck with a harsh tug. He brings his gloved hand up to get a better look.

The lighting in this apartment is atrocious but Ben can see that the pendent is much too well made to be worn on a leather cord. Too obviously incongruous. The crystal in the center of the scawling, ornate metalwork is glowing faintly, as if fed by the blood and violence that had just been committed in its name.

Ben hates Sith artifacts. They always seem to have a will of their own and he can’t not see himself in the poor fools who fall victim to their agendas.

“Looks like Roth was right again,” Ben says, putting the pendent in the sealbag that they keep on hand for artifacts that shouldn’t be touched with one's skin.

“Can we _please_ not go on another of Roth’s adventures,” Bat whines and raises a trembling hand to wipe the blood from his face. Ben is relieved to see that it is mostly the Trandoshan’s green blood and not Bat’s own blood. But it would make sense for Bat to be covered in the blood of their victim, as he was the one who dealt the killing blow. With an excessively high powered blaster.

Bat's obvious dissatisfaction makes Ben cringe. It’s not his call--it’s Vader’s--but he wishes he could reassure Bat.

“His intel is good, Bat,” Shi says, peaking out of the single window in the apartment. “We can’t just ignore these things. They’re dangerous.”

“They’ve been safely ignored for decades,” Bat grumbles.

Ben shouldn’t say anything. He should let Bat grumble himself quiet. He’s supposed to be the leader of this group. He's supposed to be Vader's Executor and they his Enforcers. Even if Roth is the one with all the information and Bat is the one making sure they all eat and sleep and Shi is the one that stitches them all up after a mission. Ben can swing a saber and make hasty plans. They all have ability in the force. But Ben is Vader’s grandson, even if no one knows it. Therefore, even if it doesn’t make sense to the others, he’s the leader of this outfit. By Vader’s orders.

Still, he’s the one who has Vader’s ear on a good day. “I’ll talk with Lord Vader. See if our next mission can be something less...messy.”

Bat rolls his eyes. Clearly taking Ben’s assurance as the banthashit it is.

Roth comes back, tucking a commlink up his sleeve. “What are you all complaining about? The mission was a success.”

Bat gestures wildly around the gorey apartment. “Is _this_ how you define success, Rotty? I’ve got some beings' blood up my nostrils.”

Ben makes a disgusted noise.

“I’ve asked you not to call me that,” Roth says, completely missing the point.

“That is hardly the issue, right now,” Bat growls.

Shi interrupts before they can really settle into an argument. “We need to go.” She reminds them, moving away from the window. “Let’s not linger.”

* * *

Back on the _Devastator_ Ben gives his tedious report and the amulet directly to Vader.

“I’m impressed."

It’s a compliment on the surface but Ben is getting good at reading Vader’s inflections. Ben knows Vader isn’t actually happy with the result of the mission.Vader is irritated by something; pacing the length of the conference room while Ben sits alone at a large table. Vader doesn’t interrupt Ben’s report and with no evidence otherwise, Ben has to assume Vader’s agitated by something Ben has done.

“Are you?” Ben asks in a measured voice

Vader doesn’t stop his pacing. “I’ve taken careful measure of your growth, Ben. I know how far you’ve came, but this is sloppy. Your comrades don’t have your aptitude for this.”

More praise but it rubs Ben the wrong way. He knows he has a natural aptitude for the work as Vader’s Executor and sometimes it makes him sick. He’s good at intimidation and violence and worming into people’s heads.

If Vader is aware of Ben’s reservations they never speak of it, but Vader’s impatience with Ben’s team of Enforcers is an old argument. Ben is weary of it. “What would you have me do? We already have training exercises every day we’re not on assignments.”

“What would you suggest?”

Ben sighs, thinking of the promise he’d made Bat. “They’re tired. Of the work and each other, if I’m being honest. Split us up. Split up Roth and Bat especially.”

Vader actually stopped pacing. The angular black mask turned to look at Ben. It’d be unnerving if Ben wasn’t so used to it. This was the face of his grandfather, as he knew him. “They don’t work well together?” Vader asked.

Ben can’t help grimacing, “It’s complicated.” He couldn’t say that he even knew what was going on between Bat and Roth. Only that they used to be close but there was an abrasive quality to all of their interactions of late.  

Vader merely waves a dismissive hand. “Fine. There is another matter I’d like to discuss before you’re dismissed.” Before Ben can ask Vader shuts off the holo recorder, which is standard for all debriefings.

“Off record?” Ben asks. This isn't unusual, so much as infrequent. Vader keeps all personal conversations between the two of them off record. Ben assumes it's for security reasons.

“Indeed. They can do this work without you.”

Ben can’t keep the incredulity out of his voice as he reminds Vader, “You just said I had a natural aptitude for it and they were bringing me down.”

“I didn’t say they would do it well, but that’s beside the point,” Vader secures his hands behind his back. He’s apparently done pacing for now. This must have been what was agitating him. “Roth could take command. Freeing you for more suitable work.”

Ben thinks the Enforcers resent the work enough with him as their leader. He can’t imagine how Bat and Shi would react to Roth calling the shots and Ben...doing what?

“I can’t imagine Bat and Shi would take a change in leadership well.”

“That’s irrelevant. Their positions as Enforcers are interchangable. The whole endeavour is expendable, honestly.”

That comment hits Ben like a blow. Vader’s essentially confirmed a suspicious that Ben has slowly come to over the last six years of being his Executor: that Vader has been sending him to do busy work. Very rarely will Vader give Ben clearance to go on actual campaigns. Also, without Ben there acting as a buffer, Vader wil have no reason not to send the Enforcers on actual campaigns. Putting their lives in danger.

But he can’t claim that is isn’t curious, despite himself. “What would my new position be?”

“My heir, of course.” Vader says, matter of factly. “In an official capacity. I will claim you. Publically. Finally. And you will begin to take on some of the responsibilities of Emperor, under my supervision.”

Ben’s shocked. He has vague memories of Vader telling him that he’d give him the galaxy someday but he’d...what? Forgotten? Misunderstood?  He’d thought of it like anything an adult tells an upset child. Like his father telling him he wasn’t strange or his mother telling him he could do anything. Comforting lies full of empty promise.

“You mean Emperor Internum.”

“No.” Vader places both hands on the table across from Ben and leans down until they are eye level. Ben can see his eyes reflected in the red tint of Vader’s viewports and, disorientingly, the flicker of Vader’s real eyes as they study Ben. “That was my destiny. This is yours.”

* * *

Ben leaves Vader and heads toward his room on the _Devastator_ in a stupor. He feels heavy, like he’s being affected by more gravity than the rest of the ship. The weight of destiny and responsibility. It wasn't an unfamiliar weight, but this time it was accompanied by an added burden.

Emperor.

Vader seriously wanted to make Ben emperor.

Of course he should want this. Of course it was an honor.

_You want to be a Jedi, don’t you, Ben? Like Luke? Like the stories I told you?_

Ben shakes his head, as if to dislodge the unwanted memory.

It isn’t the same.

Leia had wanted him to be a Jedi because she was at her wits end with him. She’d tried to be kind about it. For Ben’s sake. Tried to spin it into a legacy instead of the send off they both knew it was.

Vader wasn’t trying to dislodge himself from Ben. Vader wasn’t sending him away. Besides, these were the fears of a child. Ben was twenty-three now and, therefore, above such hurts.

Just because he’d come to associate any expectation with being rejected didn’t mean that he could reasonably avoid anything expected of him for his whole life. Vader has done so much for him. He owes his grandfather everything.

Then he enters his room and finds the data chip.

He spots it on this bunk immediately. It was small and grey. Ben was so rarely in these quarters that any change--no matter how inconsequential--was glaring. He didn’t touch it.

Not at first.

He changed the access code on the entryway first. Clearly someone had access who wasn’t supposed to. Then he swept the room for bugs.

Then, and only then, did he plug the data chip into a terminal--only to yank it out when the face of his mother was projected. The holo only managed one word before his manhandling cut the feed.

“Ben.”

That was enough. That told him security in the Empire was comprised. They had a spy--maybe several--who’d managed to gain access to his personal rooms.

He should alert Vader before any information was leaked. He should be outraged. He should be on alert.

What he shouldn’t do is sit alone in his room and have a panic attack because he’d heard his mother say his name for the first time in six years.

What he shouldn’t do is collect himself and quietly slip the data chip back into the terminal.

He shouldn’t keep this from his grandfather. But Ben has done a lot of things he shouldn’t do.

And it’s for him….

“Ben.” The holo starts at the beginning. “I should have told you this long ago, Ben.”

His mother’s voice is rougher than he remembers it. The holo recording casts her in an eerie blue light. Even in blue she looks care worn and tired.

“I shouldn’t have kept the truth of our blood from you. It was a mistake; to keep you in the dark...I made a lot of mistakes with you.”

The words cut right through Ben. He ejects the data stick from the terminal before she can say more.                            

* * *

The meeting with Ben hadn’t gone the way Darth Vader had hoped. They rarely did. But Vader felt like he’d indulged his grandchild long enough.

For six years Vader has encouraged his flying around the galaxy, going on adventures with his friends. Ben was twenty-three now, a young man. And Vader, force help him, was pushing seventy. It’s a wonder he’s lived his long. As he has lived.

Ben will make an adequate emperor. Vader believed he may even be a good emperor.

He had the same authoritative streak that served both Vader and Palpatine well. And his years among the Jedi had left him disciplined.

Sure he had a temper and Vader had had to replace hacked equipment over the years, but he’d never killed anyone in a rage. Vader suspected that the outbursts had more to do with Ben’s soft heart than any lust for violence.

That would make him a better ruler than Vader had ever hoped to be. Maybe even a ruler Padme could have been proud of, even if she never had the chance to grow out of her idealism. Vader had every confidence in Ben.

But now was not the time for Ben anymore. Vader kept the holo recorder off and waited for his next appointment.

Roth enters promptly and bows to Vader.

Vader has found Roth to be the singular exception of competency among Ben’s friends. He was, however, entirely too smug for his usefulness to outweigh Vader’s disdain for the former Padawan.

“Lord Vader, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

Vader, still standing from his meeting with Ben, gestures for Roth to take a seat. “Be seated and speak. My time is limited.”

“Of course.” Roth takes the seat that Ben had vacated only moments ago, for some inane reason, this grates on Vader’s nerves. “My associates have indicated a map that may be of great value to you, Lord Vader.”

Vader doesn’t trust Roth’s ‘associates’ who call themselves the Acolytes of the Beyond but so far their intel has never failed to produce results. “A map?”

Roth’s eyes crinkle in a smile that doesn’t show itself on his lips but transforms the Mirialan tattooing under his eyes into something almost sinister. “A map that leads to Luke Skywalker.”

Vader had heard rumors and he’d had his doubts about Ben’s certainty. But they had always been just that: rumours and doubts. Nothing substantial. Nothing like a map.

Still, Vader hadn’t been able to feel his son, so if he was living he was hiding it--from his family and from the Force. It could be a fake. But Vader couldn’t leave it to chance.

He couldn’t not investigate. Luke may not wish it, but Vader did love his son still.

Vader takes the seat across from Roth. “Tell me everything.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm working under the assumption that there's only one Star Destroyer on Jakku and a bunch of smaller ships. Wookieepedia names a Star Destroyer and a Star Dreadnaught.

There’s a fire to the north. Rey can see the smoke rising; the image flickering in the day’s gathering heat. It’s a strange sight. She reckons it’s coming from Tuanul, or thereabouts.

A strange sight for a strange place. She thinks no more about it. She has enough to think about and she has work to do. 

The day’s just begun.

Scavenging is different by herself. Not worse; just different. There’s no one there to warn her away from harm, but this means there’s no one to scold her if she missteps. She’s not being treated kindly or unkindly. She gets to keep all of the payment but she finds less. She can’t do more than her share of the work because her share is all there is. There’s no one to talk to but no one to yell at her. It’s lonely, but Rey is use to that. 

The other scavengers at Niima didn’t take kindly to her striking out on her own. They make pretense about her age or or slight frame. She knows they just want to use her labor for themselves. Besides, thirteen is plenty old enough to make her own decisions and anyone who  says otherwise can meet the business end of her quarterstaff. Both business ends, preferably.

The Graveyard of Giants greets her as it does every morning (silent, solem, and slowly sinking into the sand)  as Rey rides her speeder into its depths’ looking for a fresh spot. 

It never hurts to poke around for something new. The desert is a tease; covering and uncovering its treasures on a whim. 

This is how Rey finds the woman in the sand. She spots the body a ways off and immediately parks her speeder and retrieves her staff. Rey’s found corpses before--it’s never pleasant--but she doesn’t think this is a corpse. Dead people are usually better hidden. 

Still, Rey approaches cautiously. 

“Hey,” Rey says, standing at a safe distance and poking the woman’s shoulder with the end of her staff. “Are you dead?”

She’s a Togruta and it takes a couple more forceful pokes before she groans softly.

Alive. That’s that then. 

Rey secure’s her staff at her back and maneuvers so that she’s got the woman by the pits of her arms and is dragging her backwards through the sand. Shade first, then water. Hopefully that will be enough to rouse her because that’s all Rey can offer. 

She deposits her load near where she parked her speeder, in the shade of a midsized ship. The shade it offers won’t last much longer. She wishes they were closer to the Star Destroyer. They are usually cool on the inside. 

Rey retrieves her canteen and moves the woman’s head to her lap so she can carefully pour a measure of water in her mouth. The woman swallows without prompting. A good sign. 

Rey’s seen Togruta before, of course, but this woman is wearing the wrong clothing to be a local. Her once-white robes are now yellowed from sand and sun and there is simply too much fabric to them to be functional in the desert. She doesn’t have any goggles or gloves that Rey can see, either.

“Hey, lady off-worlder.” Rey smacks the woman’s cheek lightly.  Her skin is hot to the touch. “We can’t sit here all day.”

The woman’s eyes make a valiant attempt at opening.

“Patience, young one,” The woman mumbles. At least that’s what Rey thinks she’s said. It came out more like: “paashins, yon wan” so Rey gives her more water.

Still, the woman mostly groans and mumbles. Rey sighs but there’s nothing else for it. 

It takes some doing to drag the woman all the way to the Star Destroyer but she’s too heavy for Rey to lift onto her speeder. It makes her itch nervously to leave the speeder behind but she promises herself that she’ll go back for it as soon as the woman is settled in the darkness of the Star Destroyer.

Something had to give and Rey gets lucky, it appears that no one else has claimed the Star Destroyer for the day. She pulls the Togruta as far into the Starship as is safe and out of sight of the opening. She props her up on a cool metal inner wall and begins to divest her of the heavy outer robes. 

By the end of it Rey feels that she’ll be lucky if she doesn’t get heat sickness too. She should rest but her speeder is her livelihood. She hesitates but takes the canteen of water with her on the trip to her speeder. The woman can’t drink it by herself yet anyway.

When Rey returns the woman has nestled herself gratefully against the cool metal. This time Rey doesn’t hesitate to give her the canteen. 

The woman gives her a weak smile and drinks deeply. Rey sits beside her for some much needed rest. She’s worked very hard but the day’s a wash. It’s already midday and Rey has nothing to trade.

“Thank you.”

Rey startles and looks to her companion. Her voice is soft and solemn and her eyes are very blue. 

“I’d be dead if it wasn’t for your kindness.”

Rey looks away, aggravated despite herself.   

“What were you doing out here anyway?” She grumbles. Honestly, an off-worlder all by herself in the middle of the Graveyard dressed like she wanted to roast. How foolish.

“I was visiting an old friend in a village not far from here.” 

“No one has friends on Jakku,” Rey huffs.

The woman looks sad. “I guess you’re right about that now...There was an attack.”

Rey suddenly recalls the smoke she’d seen that morning. “Tuanul.”

The woman nods, grimly and drops her head back to the wall with a dull ‘thunk.’

“Are you a member of the Church of the Force?”

The woman gives her a long, unreadable look. “Are you?”

Rey snorts. “No. But I’m not the one running around the desert in robes.”

“True,” she gives Rey wan smile. “Since I can’t call you ‘friend’--by your own mandate--what can I call you?”

“I’m Rey.”

The woman waits for the rest but politely doesn’t comment when nothing more is forthcoming. 

“I am most fortunate to have crossed paths with you, Rey of Jakku. My name is Ahsoka Tano.”

* * *

There’s nothing else for it. Rey has to take Ahsoka back to her home for the night.

When Ahsoka is looking better Rey offers to give her a ride back to whatever ship she rode in on but it’s no good. Ahsoka tells her that her ship was destroyed in the attack at Tuanul. She’s stranded until she can buy or barter another ship. 

The sun is dropping in the sky so a trip to Niima is out of the question. It would be dark before they got there and Plutt will have packed up for the day. Besides, Rey doesn’t go out at night if she can help it. 

So, Ahsoka gathers up her discarded robes and climbs on the speeder behind Rey. She doesn’t have extra goggles to offer Ahsoka so they end up tying her robes over her face to protect her eyes on the ride.

Ahsoka doesn’t comment when they reach their destination but Rey can feel Ahsoka’s body tense behind her when Rey parks the speeder beside the toppled AT-AT. 

Honestly, lonely as she gets she’s not looking forward to the company. Rey’s sure she’s in for a hungry and sleepless night; what with the wasted day and now a stranger sleeping in her home.

Ahsoka ducks into the AT-AT behind Rey and she has to crouch much more than Rey ever has because she’s so tall. She casts an unreadable look at her surroundings; her eyes lingering on the wall of tallies as Rey goes there first and marks the day--a habit she didn’t think about until she notices Ahsoka watching. And Rey is….embarrassed, inexplicably, to have this off-worlder in her home and making judgments about it. She hadn’t expected that when she offered to bring Ahsoka here. And she’s mad about it. She’s opening her mouth to tell Ahsoka to stop...something. Being here and having opinions, maybe. 

But Ahsoka sinks to the floor and smiles up at Rey; broadcasting genuine gratitude from her way her tense body eases. 

“Thank you for your hospitality, Rey.”

Rey isn’t sure she’s heard her own name said aloud so many times in one day before. She sits across from Ahsoka; misplaced anger evaporated like a puddle of water under the sun.

“You’ll have to sleep on the floor,” she tells her, and cringes. “And I don’t have any food to offer you.” Or anymore water but she’s hoping that won’t come up.

“Oh! That reminds me.” Ahsoka begins rifling through the pockets of her robes and pulls out six ration packs.

Rey’s eyes widen at the sight but before he mouth can water too much Ahsoka is dumping five of the packs onto Rey’s lap. 

“Payment, for your help today,” Ahsoka tells her, opening her own ration pack. 

Rey’s of a mind to argue. The payment isn’t equivalent to what little work Rey has done for Ahsoka. But….it’s been a long day and she is hungry. She sets four on the table--available for Ahsoka to take back before she leaves if she wants--and opens one of her own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is back to Ben.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've edited this chapter a hundred times and I always catch a new error. I'm sure there are more but I'm tired of looking at it. 
> 
> Mind the tags, please.

It’s not the split up Ben had imagined. It’s not really a split up.

Vader approves a rest period of forty-eight hours for Ben and the others. All except for Roth, who Vader sent away almost as soon as the four of them had returned with the Sith amulet. Which leaves Ben and Shi’ko and Bat to undertake the next mission with an incomplete team.

Regardless, it should be simple enough. It’s just an inspection, after all.

Integrating the First Order into the Empire had proved to be more difficult than Ben reckoned anyone in the Empire had anticipated. It had been an ongoing process for the last six years.

Vader has sent his Executor to Trooper Integration facilities in the past. It's not a difficult job. Perhaps this is Vader’s idea of a break since the whole operation is essentially a massive daycare. The facility on Bakura should be no exception.

Ben isn’t anticipating any issues.

Still, Vader singling out Roth has him on edge. Especially in the wake of their last meeting and the discovery of Leia’s data chip (which Ben has safely tucked in his boot). What is he going to tell Vader? He can’t be emperor. He hadn't expected--or even wanted--Vader to make good on a promise that he'd made Ben years ago. Especially, since that was before Vader had really known Ben beyond the blood they shared. Ben certainly hadn’t taken it seriously. His mistake.

On a whim Ben checks his the ETA.

Six hours until they reach Bakura.

Plenty of time. He's alone in the cockpit and he already feels vulnerable and frustrated. Surely, if he’s already both those things, listening to the rest of Leia’s message can’t hurt him. Right?

Ben locks the cabin door, plugs the data chip into the ships’ terminal, and starts the recording before he can talk himself out of it.

It still jars him when her image manifests on the holo projector. Insanely, he feels like he should hide it away.

It starts where he’d stopped it two days ago.

“I’m sure by now he’s told you what I never could: that he’s my biological father. Even if he hasn’t, you’ll hear it on the HoloNet soon. Lothcat’s out of the bag, Ben. Everyone knows.” Leia pauses here. Clearly swallowing her frustration.

When she speaks again her voice has a fragile edge to it that makes Ben’s stomach knot.

“I don’t know what he’s told you. I don’t know what promises he's made you. But he’s a bad man, Ben.”

“You’re not safe...You’ve never really been safe...I hate that you’re there with him. Sometimes I think I’d rather you--No.” She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. “No. It’s just that the uncertainty is eating me. I don’t know why you chose Vader. I don’t know why you killed those kids. I don’t know where Luke is and I--”

Ben can’t hear the rest of the feed; his ears are ringing.

Luke is alive?

* * *

 

Ben has had six hours, by the time he lands on Bakura, to come to terms with his mother’s revelation.

He doesn’t.

He's spent the last six _years_ knowing that Luke was dead; knowing that it made him a murderer but at least it also meant he was safe. Six hours isn’t enough time to properly rearrange this knowledge.

Now he doesn't know anything. It’s like this information won’t fit in his mind. He can’t find a place to slot it in. So it stays at the forefront.

Luke is alive.

In a trance Ben meets Lieutenant Hux (the younger Hux. Sloane had executed the elder Hux years ago for treason against the Empire) and the Captains Phasma and Cardinal, who oversee this Trooper Integration facility and who are to take them on a tour.

It’s so large and so full with children of various ages that this alone takes them hours. Hux guides the tour; droning on about cost efficiency and their need for a new climate control unit in building four before the heat of Bakura’s summer sets in. Cardinal and Phasma follow the group silently and at a distance. Like Hux’s personal bodyguards.   

Ben’s head isn’t in the right place. He’s full of ‘what ifs’ and fear and anger that his mind is systems away from his body going on a tour. This must be the reason he misses it.

“Wait a moment,” Bat says pointing at a group of children at play. They’re small. Two or three standard years, at most. “None of these subjects should be younger than seven standard year. Six at the very least.”

Oh no.

Ben looks around the room full of small children.

Hux straightens his already impeccable posture. “How do you mean?” he asks, innocuously.

Ben turns to look at the man, slowly; his movements muddled with disbelief. Will the force ever allow him to stop being caught off guard?

“The program ended six years ago,” he points out.

Hux actually has the audacity to roll his eyes. “And so did the contraceptive drugs. We’re rehabilitating them. Not casturizing them.”

“You’ve been letting them breed?” Bat asks, incredulously. “At this facility?”

“Are you even equipped to offer maternity care?” Shi asks. “Prenatal and postnatal?”

“I haven’t been _letting_ them do anything,” Hux says, as though that helps his case.

Which begged the question. When was the last time this facility had let a subject go?

“You _are_ supposed to attempt to track down next-of-kin for the younglings and give the adults the choice to join the Empire as Stormtroopers--” Ben tries to remind the Lieutenant, who interrupts him with:

“How can I do that when you’ve over-saturated the market.”

“--or provide them with a stipend and a ship and send them on their way,” Ben finishes, glaring at Hux. He can feel his eye twitching.

“That’s preposterous. They couldn’t live in this galaxy. They’d be eaten alive.”

Ben rounds on Hux, snarling, “It’s _literally_ your _job_ to prepare them for life in the galaxy!” They are of similar heights but Ben is considerably more bulky than the red haired Lieutenant.

Hux gives him a nervous onceover but raises his chin with a sniff. “I disagree.”

Ben is speechless.

Hux must take this as a sign that he can talk himself out of this mess.

“Come now,” he says, putting a hand on Ben’s shoulder and making an amount of eye contact feels strange and off putting to Ben. “I’m sure we can come to an agreement. Let’s finish the tour and I think you’ll see things differently.”

Ben isn’t sure if Hux is bribing him or attempting to brainwash him.

Warily Ben allows Hux to finish their tour and Ben pushes aside his personal problems for long enough to pay attention. This time Ben notices when he sees something...slightly _off._

They are passing through a suspended breezeway that connects two of the buildings when he casts his glance out onto the surrounding land.

They're building on the site. There are homes in the distance--shabby, makeshift shelters of various materials, but there. There are more children there too. There are what appears to be vegetable gardens as well.

“You don’t plan on letting any of them leave,” Ben says, he’s stopped in the middle of the breezeway, looking over the farms and shanty town below. “Do you?”

The whole company halts as Hux stops to face Ben.

“Why would they want to?” Hux asks with an obliging smile that didn’t reach his uncanny eyes. “Be realistic, Executor Solo. They can still be of use to the Empire here. I have them working. Building ships and weapons. I’ve taken care of all the details. All of their needs are met. It’s perfect.”

“And where do you get the materials to make the ships and weapons?”

“I have a supplier,” Hux answers, cryptically.

“Where do you get the money to pay your supplier?”

“I sell the products.”

“...To the Empire?” Ben guesses.

Hux shrugs his slim shoulders, nonchalantly. “Usually.”

Ben takes a deep, calming breath. “How much do you pay the subjects for this work?”

“All their needs are met,” Hux repeats.

Great. Perfect. This is a nightmare. “So slavery, then.”

“Don’t be crass,” Hux scoffs. “They have opportunities to leave.”

“Officially,” Ben spits. “If you help them with the paperwork and acquire their stipend from the Empire and release them. Do they know that?”

“They have everything they need here,” Hux says, doggedly

Ben can’t believe his ears. “You’ve created your own kingdom.”

Ben looks to his team. Hoping to the force that they are with him in his disbelief. Bat looks like he’s going to be sick.

“The Empire has handed him a kingdom,” Shi’ko corrects him while rubbing her hornbeds in exasperation.

* * *

Ben comms Vader hours later.

He and Hux have argued until Ben’s voice is hoarse but he knows he has to report this development to his grandfather. It’s a glaring oversight on the Empire’s part to allow a man like Hux into such a position of power over the people he helped his father kidnap and brainwash for years.

He expects Vader to be incised; knowing a bit of Vader’s own background as a slave (he and Vader had never outright talked about it but Luke had once mentioned that Ben’s great-grandmother had been a slave on Tatooine.)

Vader listens to Ben’s report in grim silence. Then, because surprises will not cease for the day, he says: “Do what you wish.”

“What?”

“I will not give you instructions on this matter,” Vader tells him.

Ben shakes the commlink to make absolutely certain he’s getting the right audio transmission. He can’t believe his ears. The decisions made about this facility will affect the lives of thousands. He can’t be responsible for this.

“You and your team have leave to spend however long you need on Bakura investigating the operation there,” Vader continues. “You will be granted security clearance on par with my own. Replace Hux, if you wish. Relocate the troopers, if that suits you. Let the operation continue or raze it to the ground. Your decision will be final word on the matter. You will get no instruction from me.”

Ben has a bad feeling about this.

“Why?”

“Consider it a trail run for your future as emperor.”


	4. Chapter 4

It takes very little convincing to get Ahsoka to agree to go scavenging with Rey early the next morning. Rey needs something to trade while they are at the outpost and with Ahsoka’s help--she had a surprisingly good eye--they were at Niima and under the tarps by midday.

Rey directs Ahsoka to Plutt, with the ringing endorsement of: “He’s your only hope at buying a ship.” Then she makes her way to the cleaning stations.

It was a normal day at Niima outpost. The air was fetid with the stinks of many different sentients and the bea

they rode in on. The cleaning stations vibrated with the sound of wire on metal. The midday sun burnt the back of Rey’s neck. The wire brush bit into her skin.

 _It will be good to get back to normal_ , she told herself as she worked. It wouldn’t do to get too used to Ahsoka’s presence. No offworlder stayed on Jakku if they could help it.

Before Rey was finished scrubbing the grim off her salvaged pieces Ahsoka was back, crouching beside her so as not to take up a space at the station.

Rey’s heart clenched. So this is goodbye.

“Wanna help me pick out a ship?” Ahsoka asks.

“What?”

Ahsoka shrugs, a mischievous glint in her blue eyes. “I saw that simulation you have. I’m betting you know your stuff.”

Rey does know her stuff and she’s very pleased by Ahsoka’s recognition--even if she didn’t really need her help. It’s an excuse to spend a few more moments with someone.

So Rey nods and Ahsoka patiently waits until she had scrubbed and traded her pieces--which were worth a quarter portion and a nasty look from Plutt. Nastier than usual.

“Why’re you hanging around off-worlders, girl?” Plutt demanded before relinquishing her pay. “You can’t _go_ anywhere.”

“I know that,” Rey grumbles, pulling her quarter portion from under his meaty hand. “It’s just something to do.”

Plutt grunts, eyeing Ahsoka with distaste. “Something to help you starve, maybe. Don’t think I didn’t notice your absence yesterday.”

Rey huffs and pockets her quarter portion. It wasn’t any of Plutt’s business if she starved to death.

Besides, no one was going anywhere but Ahsoka.

Plutt closed the stand and lead them to his shipyard where he showcased an assortment of ships. He had everything from the terribly assembled hunk of junk to the slightly less terribly assembled hunk of junk. The only criteria that Plutt had for his collection was that they were all stolen.

They walk together for a while as Plutt goes on and on about this ship and that one. Rey isn’t seeing anything worth paying money for, so she keeps her mouth shut. Ahsoka nods and hums occasionally at Plutt.

Suddenly Rey notices Ahsoka do a double take before she stops completely and turns toward a ship.

Plutt walks on, oblivious.

Rey stops too. Ahsoka is looking at a YT-1400 model Corellian freighter covered in tarp and rust.

“No way.” Both of them say this at the same time with vastly different inflections. Rey with disgusted disbelief and Ahsoka with awed disbelief. Ahsoka looks down at Rey, affronted.

“That ship’s garbage,” Rey tells her.

Ahsoka glances to make sure Plutt is still oblivious and nudges Rey with her elbow.

“Come on. Let’s look at it.”

Reluctantly, Rey follows.

The gangplank is down and Ahsoka clambers right on in. It’s garbage on the inside too. Panels are missing and upholstery is ripped and there is hair _everywhere._

The ships in the Graveyard look better cared for than this. Picked apart as they are.

But there is _something_. Rey can’t put her finger on what exactly. It’s just a feeling. Cold where there had been warmth. An emptiness in a space that was once full. An absence with the bitter knowledge that it had not always been that way. Once, it had been overflowing with--with...what?

Try as she might, Rey can’t put a name to it.

Whatever it was the glaring lack of it made the ship feel both empty and entrancing. Like finding an offworlder in the sand and getting them to share their story with you. Just because it looked bad now didn’t mean it had always been that way.

In Rey’s reverie she had lost sight of Ahsoka.

“Aha!” She hears from elsewhere in the ship. “I thought so.”

Curious, Rey follows the sound of Ahsoka’s voice through the soiled passageways. She finds Ahsoka in the ship's cockpit, holding up a shiny trinket to what little light finds its way through the grimey viewport. In the filth filtered light Rey could make out a pair of gold dice that were attached to each other with a thin chain.

There is a smile on Ahsoka’s face.

“Does this mean you know whose ship this is?” Rey asks.

Ahsoka turns her smile to Rey. “I sure do! This ship belongs to a man named Han Solo.”

Rey blinks, numb with surprise. She blinks again when the information doesn’t process the first time around.

“ _The_ Han Solo?!” She practically shouts at Ahsoka, who laughs with delight at Rey’s reaction. “That would mean this is--” Rey looks around frantically, with new eyes. “No. _This_ is the _Millennium Falcon_?!”

“It sure is.”

Rey turns her attention back to Ahsoka, her heart sinking. “Plutt won't sell you this ship if he knows.”

“You let me worry about that,” Ahsoka says, confidently. She even gives Rey a playful  wink.

Rey has a bad feeling about this.

* * *

 

Plutt wouldn’t sell the ship.

Ahsoka argued with him for so long that the sun had started to set. She even tried a bold yet foolish: “You will sell me this ship.” Accompanied by a flashy wave of her hand in Plutt’s face. Rey wasn’t sure what that was supposed to prove to the blobfish but it only caused him to splutter with rage.

She was starting to suspect that perhaps Ahsoka’s bout of heat sickness had affected her mind.

It was Rey who finally ended the argument; letting Ahsoka know that if she was staying another night with Rey they’d have to leave if they wanted to be back in the AT-AT before dark.

“You’re too kind for your own good, girl,” Plutt grumbled at Rey, but Ahsoka bought several portions from him at an inflated price as a show of good faith so he didn’t grumble for much longer after that.

Safely back in Rey’s AT-AT, the two shared a big meal of portions and ration bars and water. Then they shared stories of the _Millennium Falcon_.

Rey didn’t know if any of the stories were true but she didn’t care. They filled her in much the same way that the food had. That night she slept deeply and contented.

When Rey woke the next morning Ahsoka was gone. Frantic, she ran outside but her speeder was where she’d parked it the night before. She did a quick sweep of her few belongings but nothing seemed to be missing.

Just Ahsoka.

With a heavy heart Rey went about her day. Alone.

It seemed to take her twice as long and double the effort to retrieve anything of value that day. She’s feels as though she’s been set to run on autopilot. She works slowly and inefficiently.  The sun was low in the sky when she finally made it to Niima Outpost. She trades her wares and...lingers.

Something is _wrong_. With her. With Niima. With Jakku. With everything.

Rey stays longer than she ought to and, recklessly, sneaks into Plutts shipyard to check on the _Millennium Falcon_.

The ship is still there.

She doesn’t know how she feels about this. Ahsoka hadn’t bought it. Was she still on Jakku? Had she settled for another ship? Why didn’t she say goodbye?

With little thought to the consequences of her actions Rey sneaks onto the ship.

It had been left behind. It belongs to someone. Someone who likely wants it back. Someone who may be looking for it. And Ahsoka left it here. Buried in the sand like so much garbage. Just like-- And Rey-- Oh. She’s angrier than she realized.

Tears prick her eyes uselessly. No point in wasting hydration on a pointless emotion. Rey can’t do anything about how Ahsoka vanished.

She sits behind a dusty dejak table, willing the tears and anger away.

Rey doesn’t intend to, but she falls asleep on the _Millennium Falcon_.

She dreams of a boy with eyes like oblivion who lived there sometimes, with a family he believed didn’t love him. She dreams of stars, and laser swords. Of space battles, and of being weighed down by relentless pressure.

She is jerked awake. Someone has a hold of her arm and has shoved her onto the floor.

Later, she’d realize that the markings under his eyes and green tint to his skin made him Milarian. She’d also figure that with his heavy black robes he could not be a local.

At the time all she knew was that he had let go of her arm to grab roughly at her hair.

“Where is the Torgrata?” He asks, giving Rey’s hair a tug that makes her eyes water. “She was with you yesterday. Where did she go? Where is she hiding? What did she do with the map?”

“I don’t know,” Rey sobbed, eyes streaming tears from pain and fear and confusion. Waste of water. “She was gone when I woke up this morning.”

“She’ll be back for you,” he says, with no uncertainty.

Rey would disagree if she had the wherewithal.

“Come along.”

It wasn’t a choice. He pulls her hair like a lead and Rey had no other option but to stumble after him. They pitch down the gangplank and into the chilly desert night.

Rey spares a thought for her speeder as she is dragged through the night. She’d hidden it that evening but she’d been foolish and reckless. It was going to be found and stolen or scrapped and if Rey survived the night (as anything other than this man’s slave) it wouldn’t be for long. That speeder was her livelihood and Rey was a fool who should have died in the desert years ago.

As he pulls her farther from the ship there is the hiss of something being activated behind them. Bright white lights chase away the shadows around Rey.

It happens so fast that it’s several moments before she realizes that anything has happened at all. And another moment for her to realize that the hand still in her hair is no longer attached to the man.

He screams, clutching his arm. That now ends abruptly at the wrist. There is no blood. Rey scrambles away from him, frantically unwinding dead fingers from her scalp.

“Rey,” a familiar voice says. “Are you alright?”

Rey looks, and it’s Ahsoka, standing tall and proud with a laser sword in each hand. Rey nods, dumbfounded. Ahsoka gives her a once over, her gaze concerned, before giving her attention back to the whimpering man.

“Now tell me,” she insists, pointing a sword at him. “Who do you work for?”

“I was sent to find the map.”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes. “Obviously. By who?”

“D-darth Vader.” The mans face transforms from fear into a snarl. “He’ll destroy you!”

Ahsoka deactivates her swords.

“Unlikely,” she says. Then she waves a hand and the man crumbles onto the sand. She turns back to Rey, her expression unreadable.

“This is for your own good.” Ahsoka waves her hand, and Rey falls asleep.

* * *

Rey wakes in the same place she had earlier; on the bench behind a dusty dejak table. Which...wasn't right. She’d been outside the Falcon.

This was wong. Different. The ship was thrumming with power and...and… movement!

Rey sprang up and ran to the cockpit. The sight beyond stopped her short.

Rey had never been in hyperspace before. But certain things one knows on sight. She wheeled on Ahsoka, who watched her cautiously from the pilots’ chair.

“We’ve left Jakku,” her voice sounds numb to her ears but Rey feels anything but. She’s sick with shock, blurry-eyed with hurt, and trembling with banked, simmering anger.

Ahsoka is impassive. “Yes. We have.”

“We stole a ship,” Rey guesses.

“ _I_ stole a ship.”

“You killed that man.”

“No,” Ahsoka says, much to Rey’s surprise. “But I should have.”

“You kidnapped me.”

Ahsoka looks away, into the star streaked void on the other side of the viewport. “I told you. It’s for your own good.”

Out of everything that Rey is feeling at the moment anger is the first to overflow. “Take me back to Jakku!” She shouts at Ahsoka, desperately.

Ahsoka gives her an incredulous look that set’s Rey’s teeth on edge. “Why would you want to go back there?”

“I have to be there when my family comes back,” Rey tells her, her eyes filling with tears. It’s the third time she’s cried tonight. Such a waste. “They won’t know where else to look for me.”

“Rey.”

Rey has liked hearing her name said by Ahsoka in the few days she’s been in the woman’s company. It’s nice. It makes her feel real to have someone constantly saying her name. Makes her feel seen.

She doesn’t like the way Ahsoka says her name right now. But not because it’s different. She still feels seen. But now it’s in a naked, vulnerable way.

“Be realistic,” Ahsoka goes on. Pity and hard truth in her voice. “I saw, Rey. I saw where you lived. I saw who you worked for. I saw the wall where you tallied the days. Rey, no one is coming back for you.”

Rey’s tears have started flowing down her cheeks now but she grits her teeth against Ahsoka’s words. “You’re wrong,” she hisses.

“I wish I was.”

“So that gives you the right to kidnap me? Because you think no one will miss me.”

“I am not kidnapping you.”

Rey scoffs.

“As much as I hate it, I’ve gotten you involved in this,” Ahsoka sighs, rubbing the markings at her brow in frustration. “You are not safe on Jakku anymore. I could have killed that man and _maybe_ everything would have gone back to normal for you but more than likely his people would have come looking for him.”

His people would have come looking for him. Ahsoka doesn’t say it, but Rey hears ‘unlike yours.’

“They have powers you don’t understand--not yet anyway,” Ahsoka continues. “Even if they couldn’t prove your involvement, they would have been drawn to you. Just like we were drawn to each other.”

“We weren’t,” Rey spits out. “I found you. _Dying_. I should have left you there.”

Ahsoka actually shrugs, nonchalantly. “Even if you had, he’d have found you eventually. The Force works in mysterious ways, Rey. But it isn’t always so. Sometimes it has us stumble into each other.”

“Huh?”

“Sometimes the Force pushes force sensitives together.”

“I’m not force sensitive.”

Ahsoka snorts. “If your not force sensitive I’ll pull out my hair.”

“You don’t have any---ha ha,” Rey said drily. “You’re really going to just--just. Take me, aren’t you?”

“I’ve already contacted my employer. She’s rendezvousing with us and she’ll take you from there.”

“Where?” Rey asks, the edges of an unknown future finally making way through her anger.

“The New Republic has programs that take in abandoned or orphaned children. Though most outer rim planets refuse, or can’t, utilize them. So...one of those group homes or, I don’t know,” Ahsoka laughs, with a bitter edge. “Maybe Leia will take a liking to you. Resourceful young force sensitive like you. There are any number of people who’d be willing to take you in. Many of them bad.”

“Bad? You mean like someone who would knock me out and take me from my home against my will?”

Ahsoka gave Rey a hurt look at this but she didn’t rebuke her. She just answered, “Worse.”

Rey puts aside her hurt for now. The uncertainty of tomorrow too great to waste time on anger. “Leia?”

“My employer. Leia Organa.”

“What has she hired you to do?”

“Find someone. It’s what I do. Although, I’ll probably get a bonus for returning the _Falcon_.”

“Like a bounty hunter?”

“Similar, but no. I’ve never hunted wanted criminals. I’m usually hired by family or friends to find someone they love. Who, for whatever reason can’t or won’t come home.”

“I take it you didn’t find who you were looking for on Jakku?”

“I wasn’t looking for him on Jakku,” Ahsoka told her. And that rang true to Rey. No one worth finding was on Jakku. “Jakku was only a step in the process of finding him. I was looking for a map.”

“That man was looking for the map too? The one you didn’t kill.”

“He was,” Ahsoka admitted, sadly. “He’s who attacked me while I was in Tuanul. He destroyed the village before I could retrieve the map. I thought I’d failed but then last night…”

“What?”

“Last night I stepped outside of your AT-AT to stretch my legs--you had already fallen asleep--and I saw a friend.”

“No one has friends on Jakku.”

“It was a convor.”

Ahsoka really is crazy. “That’s not a friend,” Rey tells her. “That’s a bird. Convor’s aren’t even native to Jakku.”

“So you see why I followed her,” Ahsoka said. As though that made any sense to Rey. No, she wouldn’t go trasping the desert at night looking for a bird. “And she lead me to where Lor San Tekka had hidden the map."

“So…” Rey tries to wrap her head around the story Ahsoka was trying to sell her. “Your mission was a success? All around. You have your map and you have the _Millennium Falcon_. That’s just great for you!”

“Rey,” Ahsoka’s voice is somber and sorry. Rey doesn’t want to hear her name said that way.

She crosses her arms over her chest and settles in the co-pilot's seat with a huff. “Who are you looking for, anyway?”

“Luke Skywalker.”

* * *

Roth’s mission on Jakku had not been a _complete_ failure. Despite appearances otherwise. At least, that’s what Roth assured Darth Vader as--back on the _Devastator_ \--he relayed his mission while trying to hide his mutilated limb.

He’d retrieved good intel. Vader was skeptical about that too, but Roth had insisted.

So Vader had a look at his intel. The young man’s shields were abysmal. He had never had a need for them. Until now.

Vader riffles through the events that Roth experienced on the desert planet called Jakku. He sees the destruction of a village and the brief interrogation of a village elder, ending with a swift execution.

He sees a white robe vanishing into the distance, watches the pursuit through the night as Roth chases, and eventually loses, the white robed figure in the desert.

Roth had abandoned his own lead, his own intel, of the map being among someone in the village, on a hunch. Sloppy work.

He eventually finds the robed figure--almost getting himself killed by the heat of the desert in the process--only to lose them again. He interrogates a local urchin.

Then Vader sees something that genuinely shocks him: a Tograta with twin white sabers and achingly familiar markings on her brow.

Ahsoka Tano was the white robed figure. Ahsoka Tano had been on Jakku, in the village where there was a rumored map to Luke Skywalker.

That was enough evidence for Vader. He would not doubt the validity of the rumors anymore. Even without the map in hand

His son was alive. Somewhere.

But there, before Vader can fully exit Roth’s mind he sees something disturbing to him. He sees Roth’s disdain for Ben Solo. He sees a jealousy of Vader’s favoritism towards Ben. Roth doesn’t know of their connection. He is ambitious, he wants to learn the ways of the Sith. He wants to be valued.

Darth Vader has no use for a former Jedi who isn’t loyal to Ben.

It is quick work, breaking the young man's mind. Roth slumps on the floor of the bridge. Dead before he knew it.

It is better this way.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben has developed a begrudging respect for Hux in the days he has been on Bakura, working on the problem of the Stormtrooper Integration facility. Hux is efficient and meticulous; his facility reflects that.

No matter what part of the facility he inspects, no matter how far back he reviews the books, there is no stone left unturned. There is nothing to indicate to those off planet what is happening on planet. Everything works seamlessly. More distressingly, nothing is overtly illegal.

By the fourth day it’s really starting to piss him off. He’s annoyed at Vader for cursing him with this grunt work and treating it like a gift. He’s frustrated at Bat and Shi for essentially spending that time goofing off with troopers their own age. He’s infuriated at Hux for causing this issue to begin with.

Mostly, he’s disgusted with himself for the envy he feels towards Hux.

Armitage Hux had been assimilated into the Empire from the First Order, had been assigned the Stormtrooper Integration facility as a throw away assignment. Giving him run of the facility was actually less paperwork than discharging him would have been. Hux’s career in the First Order hadn’t indicated he was worthy of dismissal when the Empire finally re-absorbed that body.  

Still, Hux had been given a garbage assignment (meant to get him out of the way) and created his own kingdom. Built it up from nothing. Made it profitable. Made it thrive. (At the expense of thousands, sure.)

Ben couldn’t help comparing it to his own situation. He was being given a kingdom….

His worst fear was that he’d run the Empire into the ground. His grandfather’s legacy, in the hands of Ben….he didn’t consider himself suited to the task.

Even Hux didn’t take him seriously. That was, until he nearly strangled the sycophant with the Force in a fit of frustration.

It was the show of brute force and the results they had earned (Hux scurried away, bothering him no more) that gave Ben the idea. Still, he resisted. He tried to talk himself out of it and around it.

It was no good. Ben Solo is woefully unsuited to the task that has been set before him. As he had been all his life. He would need to be harder, more authoritative and decisive. If he was ever going to be a match for Hux’s scorn and self-possession.

A long time ago, when Snoke still whispered in his mind and he still had Luke breathing down his neck, he had developed the persona of Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was all the things Ben Solo was not. When Snoke had convinced him to do something dark--that he knew Luke would disapprove of--he could do it as Kylo Ren and absolve himself of most of the guilt. Kylo Ren got results.

It had been years since Ben had needed to pretend to be someone else. He had never really tried it long term. But in small doses...he could act like Kylo Ren for long enough to finish his mission on Bakura.

He feared it wouldn’t be enough for being emperor but that was a problem for the future.

With that in mind he delegates. Bat is the most approachable of their group, so Ben sends him to talk to the rank and file. See what the former First Order stormtroopers think of the situation they’ve been placed in.

Roth is the best code breaker they have, but Roth is Force knows where, so Ben sets Shi’ko on that task. She’s essentially rifling through the facilities’ digital trash; seeing what they’ve gotten rid of.

Ben’s first instinct is to keep Hux or Phasma busy while Bat and Shi snoop but, honestly, there’s no point. He is Vader’s word on this base and Vader’s word is final. They can make nuisances of themselves but they’d have to be suicidal to hender any orders Ben has given his team.

There’s something else he could do. If he’s going to be channeling Kylo Ren for any amount of time then watching the rest of Leia’s tape is a necessity. He won’t be able to bring himself to watch it while he’s pretending to be a monster.

He goes back to the ship he and his team arrived on and shuts himself inside the cockpit before slipping the data stick from his boot back into the terminal.

The image of his mother flickers to life, brow pinched unhappily, her eyes noticeably glistening even in the eerie blue of the holo projector.

Ben restarts the whole thing, giving her the courtesy of listening to it in its entirety one time. Apparently, he had stopped listening the last time right before the end.

“--I don’t know where Luke is and I don’t know why he’s hiding. But...I think I understand why you are.” Here her eyes spill over and tears start streaming down her face; dark blue on lighter blue. He wishes he could see the color of her. Would her hair be grey now? Were their eyes still the same?

“I...never was the best at taking you at face value...I’m sorry, Ben. I didn’t believe you about Snoke when you first told me. I let it get out of hand before I was willing to listen and I am so _so_ sorry for that. I should have listened to what you were telling me. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I just...I just want you to know that I love you.”

Her words clinch Ben’s heart but he doesn’t stop the recording and his mother, never one to give up, drives the point home.

“I love you, Ben. From the bottom of my heart, I love you. And I miss you.” She takes a moment to wipe tears from her face. “No matter what you’ve done or do. No matter where you are or where you’ll go. I need you to know that. When you’re ready to come home--”

Then she rattled off a comm frequency that he could call.

If he ever wanted her to take him home.

Despite himself, he thought of going to Luke’s destroyed temple with Vader, six years ago. He’d been shocked to feel his mother's presence there, among the proof that her fear of him was justified. Among the ruin of her hopes for his future.

He was a bad person. When he’d felt Leia’s presence on Lothal he finally knew there was no more trying to hide it. Everyone he loved knew. It was too late to salvage anything.

Leia’s hopeless child, making a ruin of things again.

More than that, Leia’s frantic fear had struck him dumb. Could she have felt his last moments there? Turning his hurt into anger so he wasn’t choked by fear or struck immobile by Luke’s betrayal? Had she felt Luke’s last moments on Lothal as well? What had he felt? Faced with the wreckage of his life’s work and the bodies of most his students.

Ben will never know. As nice and terrible as it was to hear her voice and see her face--to know she still thought about him, felt for him--he would never use that comm number.  

Just because he wanted to come home didn’t mean he could. He’d learnt that long before he met Darth Vader. He’d learnt that when his parents had sent him away to Luke. So what if his chest ached with the want of it?

Ben doesn’t get anything done that day. He hides in the ship and lets his team work.

He can be Kylo Ren tomorrow; if he has to.

* * *

Ben jerks awake to a thunking on the cockpit door. It’s dusk outside the viewport. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. His mouth is parched; he’d dreamed of a desert with straships buried in the sand like children’s toys. After rubbing the crust from his eyes Ben unlocks the door.

It’s Bat, looking stricken. There’s a dark skinned teenager standing a little distance behind him.

“What happened?” Ben asks.

Bat shakes his head. “You need to see this.” He holds up a data stick, similar to the one Leia had sent Ben. For one disoriented moment, his mind still slow from sleep, Ben fears she’d sent one to all four of them. Perhaps one to Vader too; filled entirely of her screaming curses.

But no, this one is newer than Leia’s, whose had presumably been passed through many hands on it’s way to Ben.

Ben leads the others back into the cockpit. It’s a tight fit but he, Bat and the teenager all manage to fit.

Ben hastily slips Leia’s data stick from the terminal and back into his boot.

“Who’s this?” He asks, noding toward the kid before Bat can ask about the other data stick. Bat waves at the kid in a ‘go on’ way while he busies himself with setting up the terminal with the new stick.

“FN-2187, sir,” the teenage says, standing at attention.

Ben blinks. “You all don’t give each other nicknames?”

“Lieutenant Hux doesn’t allow it, sir.”

“Of course not,” Ben says, refraining from rolling his eyes by sheer force of will. “At ease. You’re not in the Imperial military,” Ben reminds him. The teenager settles into parade rest, regardless. “Can you tell me why you’re here, FN-2187?”

“There was a matter I believed needed to be brought to the attention of the Executor.”

“Oh?”

“Sir, I perform janitorial tasks around the facility and it’s not my place to have opinions on what I see--or clean, for that matter--but…”

“But?” Ben prompts. He honestly has no idea where this is going.

“I found this in Lieutenant Hux’s office a while back. I’ve been--uh, checking on it, since then. Monitoring his progress. I thought it was something I should share with his superior, but--”

“But, of course, Hux hasn’t allowed anyone on planet the chance to tattle on him,” Ben nodded. “Until now. What do you have for us?”

That’s when Bat brought up the holo.

Projected in the cramped cockpit was...an orb?

It rotated slowly. Ben leaned closer.

Han and Luke had had this running joke. It was never to be said in front of Leia. Ben himself had only heard it said by one or the other a handful of times. It wasn’t until he was older that he even realized what it was they were referencing. He’d wrote it off as a bit of gallows humor that had carried over from wartime.

 _That’s no moon._ One would say. _It’s a space station!_ They’d finish in unison. They’d never laughed afterword.

Ben looks at the projection and the words, _That’s no moon_ , run through his head.

“Is that a superweapon?”

* * *

It’s a superweapon.

According to FN-2187, Hux has been working on its design like a pet project. As far as Ben can tell it’s nowhere near ready to construct but the schematics are damning enough.

How long has Hux been working on it? Could any of the weapons schematics Hux has had the subjects in this facility build be repurposed for his superweapon? Could Hux’s mysterious suppliers be helping him gather materials? Is this whole facility a front for Hux to build a superweapon?

He and Bat and FN-2187 talk themselves into circles well into the night. Finally Ben suggests they get some rest and regroup in the morning.

FN-2187 leaves. Bat doesn’t.

It’s late enough on Bakura to be counted as early morning. Ben’s head aches like a needle lodged behind his eyes. He is Bat’s superior. “Something on your mind?” He asks with a barely restrained sigh. He has a bad feeling about this.

Bat is sitting stock still on the co-pilot's seat, contemplating his hands. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Ben asks, with mounting dread. Still, he tries to counteract this feeling by leaning against the pilot’s chair and crossing his arms over his chest and his legs at the ackles. The picture of nonchalance.

“How long have we known each other, Ben? Ten years? Longer?” He’s still not looking at Ben.

“Longer,” Ben answers, though the question may have been rhetorical. “You were Luke’s first student.”

Bat does look up at that. His gaze is empty. “Besides you.

Ben had been eleven the day he and Luke had collected Bat from the slums of Coruscant. With no parents to speak of but an apartment like nest, full of siblings who were more than happy to part with Bat if it meant less competition for food.

They had stumbled on Roth on their way back to Lothal. Ben didn’t like to think about going to collect Luke’s student’s anymore. Most of them had died by his hand. Apparently those willfully suppressed memories had included Bat’s without him noticing.

“We were going to be Jedi,” Bat says, wistfully, while Ben is caught in his reverie.

Ben says nothing. He had never intended to be a Jedi, after all.

“I always tried to think of myself a Jedi.” Bat whispers this, like confessing a sin. Or a weakness. "Even when we were killing the others.”

The words run through Ben like a bolt. Bat should be laying those accusations at Ben’s feet. Where they belonged.

“That’s not on you. I--”

“You didn’t ask us to follow you,” Bat says, shaking his head. “Besides, that was a long time ago. My point is: I don’t know what I am anymore. I don’t know where I stand, Ben. I’ve always wanted to do the right thing.” Bat looks back down at his hands. Ben wishes he wouldn’t.

“I doubt very much of what I’ve been doing these last six years can be considered the _right thing_.”

“By whose standards?” Ben asks, trying to swallow his own guilt. Forcing it down with a flimsy defense.

Bat shrugs but does not look up. “Me,” his answer is simple. Ben envies that, a little. He’s also a bit revolted by it. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Ben wants to be angry. He wants to tell Bat that he can’t quit. He really would like to break something.

He doesn’t do any of those things. He and Bat were Luke’s first.  

Just because Ben won’t go home doesn’t mean Bat shouldn’t.

“What’s stopping you?” Ben asks. His voice sounds bitter and hateful, he can’t help it.

“Fear, mostly. I’m afraid of retribution. From the Empire, if I desert, or the Republic. I could be arrested and tried for the deaths on Lothal.”

Ben is quet, thinking.

“There’s also Roth,” Bat says, quietly.

Ben nods. This makes sense to him. Finally, after all the curveballs he’s dealt with lately, something fits. Bat and Roth had been close when they were all students under Luke’s care but the two boys had become inseparable after their capture by Snoke.

“You’ll have to wait for him to finish his mission.”

“He’s not leaving.”

“What?” Ben chokes. Is nothing reliable?

Bat gives a bitter laugh and looks up to Ben. “Roth loves this,” he says with clear disgust. “The work. The Empire. The Acolytes of the Beyond.”

“He does know that they are just charlatans, right?” Ben snarls. “They may be good for intel but they don’t actually know anything.”

The only being alive who held knowledge of the Sith religion was Darth Vader and as far as Ben knew he would die with it, in a last, petty dig at his former master. Such were the failings of the ‘rule of two.’

“He wants to learn to be a real Sith, Ben,” Bat’s voice is numb as he says this but his eyes, when he glances up at Ben, are heartbroken. “He’s trying to convince Vader to take him on as an apprentice. That’s why he first sought out the Acolytes. It’s why he keeps looking for Sith artifacts. He thinks it’s what Vader wants...He’s really and truly fallen to the darkside.”

Ben didn’t think the force was as black and white as all that but he wasn’t going to get into a philosophical argument with Bat tonight; when he was clearly struggling. Besides, something else Bat had said had caught in his mind.

Was Vader considering Roth as an apprentice? If so this was news to Ben. He didn’t know how he felt about it. Had he been wrong about Vader’s pettiness? Was his grandfather really going to shuck the Empire off on Ben while he made off to parts unknown to teach Roth?

That was a potential problem for another day. Right now he had to figure out a way to shut down this facility, relocate thousands of slaves, and get his oldest friend to safety.

Bat had been helping Ben for years. Ben could make sure Bat had space to sort through his personal issues without the Empire or the Republic complicating things.

He kind of hated that it was Leia’s message that gave him the solution.

“The Resistance.”

“What?”

“You could go to the Resistance.”

“I’ve considered that,” Bat admitted. “But the Empire has been hunting down the Resistance for years, Ben. How would I even find them?”

“There’s a castle,” Ben mutters, rubbing his brow in exasperation. “On a planet called Takodana. Ask for a woman named Maz. She can get you in contact with Leia.”

Bat’s mouth is hanging open a little bit. “You mean to tell me you’ve been able to locate the Resistance this entire time?”

And Leia had thought he’d need a comm number to be able to come home. Ben had been lead around the galaxy by one caregiver or another since infancy. Just because he never commed didn’t mean he didn’t know how to get in contact with his parents if he needed them.

“Wait,” Bat said before Ben could think up a good way to answer. “Leia...Organa? Your mother? You think she’d be with the Resistance? Not the Senate?”

“She’ll be with the Resistance.” Ben had no doubt about that. _Lothcat’s out of the bag_ , she had said in her message. _Everyone knows._

“And you think she’ll take me in? That she’ll overlook my involvement with the incident on Lothal?”

Ben chooses his words carefully. “Leia will be merciful if you come to her contrite and offering gifts.”

“Gifts?”

“A gesture, rather,” Ben amended. “Say, a small city’s population worth of slaves you have freed from the injustices of the Empire.”

Bat’s eyes widen. “You want me to take the troopers?”

Ben would rather raze the facility to the ground with Hux inside. But it wasn’t the troopers’ fault they were helping build a superweapon. He couldn’t handle all betrayals like he’d handled Lothal.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is still reading this: I am so sorry!! It's been a month since my last update and it's my own damn fault. My draft notes for this chapter were all over the place and it took me a while to figure out what I wanted out of the chapter. I really have the _What The Force_ podcast's Dark Side episode to thank for getting me out of the rut I'd worked myself into with this fic.

The best course of action, as Ben saw it, would be to wait until nightfall and blow up the facility. He and Bat could make sure it was empty and it would give Hux’s Imperials enough to focus on for the mass exodus of slaves to happen unnoticed.

Even though he was Vader’s word on Bakura, Ben doubted that Hux, or anyone else would simply stand by and allow him to escort thousands of slaves to the Resistance. There would be a mutiny.

It wasn’t a foolproof plan, but it wasn’t Ben’s worse plan. Or, not yet anyway. That would depend on the outcome.

It was, however, slapdash. The day after Bat and FN-2187 had brought Ben news of the superweapon they reconvened and Ben assigned tasks. FN-2187 was to get the word out while Bat and Ben tried to steal access codes to as many ships as possible.

It wasn’t enough. Of that, he was certain. Even though the facility was full of ships, most were in varying stages of production. There were only enough Imperial sanctioned ships on planet to evacuate the administration off-world in case of an emergency.

Many of the enslaved troopers will be left behind.

It would be up to Ben to see that those individuals got out of the system. Or, it would have been, if he hadn't been approached by Captain Cardinal.

He was crouched in the cockpit of a cargo ship, trying to be covert while running diagnostics on the freighter to see if it was spaceworthy, when the red armored trooper entered the ship and closed the gangplank behind him.

Cardinal had been allowed to keep the red armor because the children he taught responded to it with respect. It made a statement and Ben appreciated that, but it wasn’t a wholly unpleasant statement. It wasn’t like speaking to Captain Phasma, when you had your own mutilated reflection staring back at you. Cardinals armour could be off putting; Phasma’s was uncanny.

Ben stood, hastily, trying to act like he belonged there.

Cardinal didn’t enter the cockpit. “A moment, sir?” He called from the hold.

Ben was sure he’d been caught. Perhaps it was better to have this confrontation in the hold, far away from the viewport. If he had to kill the captain it’d be best to minimize the chance of witnesses.

Ben left his work in the cockpit and went into the hold where Cardinal waited, putting a hand to his lightsaber, and eyeing the captain warily.

“Executor Solo,” Cardinal said when they faced each other, his voice modulated slightly through the helmet. “I’d like to offer my assistance.”

Ben blinked, caught off guard. “What?”

“With the departure, sir,” Cardinal clarified, confusing Ben more. “My grunts have been talking. They say you’re taking them off world.” Cardinal takes off his helmet. Ben is met with a perfectly ordinary looking man, maybe a decade older than himself.

“Uh…”

Cardinal leans into Ben’s space and says conspiratorially, “Away from Hux.”

If anything, this causes Ben to be more confused.

“Can you get us access codes to more ships?” He asks, because even if he’s unsure if this is a trap, it might not be, and the less people that Ben was directly responsible for the better.

“I can do you better, sir,” Cardinal says, smirking. “I can get the access codes for the Carrier Hux uses to transport his goods upon completion. It’s not outfitted to accommodate a large amount of people for a prolonged period of time. But it’s big enough to hold them. It’s stationed outside of atmo. We’d have to use the ships you’ve already got to ferry people up there. Most Stormtroopers aren’t trained to pilot, anyway. So too many ships would be useless.”

“What do you want for it?” Ben asks, because Cardinal seems genuine and Ben senses no lie, but everything comes at a price.

Cardinal looks affronted by the implications of the question. “To go,” he says, simply.

“You’re not a prisoner here,” Ben points out. “You could have taken a discharge when the First Order was absolved.”

Cardinal shakes his head. “You don’t understand, sir. I’ve spent my life with these troopers. I’ve watched them grow. I can’t just let them go. They’re...They’re my family, Executor Solo. They need my help. I can’t leave them all alone in a galaxy they’re ill-prepared for.”

Ben is momentarily struck dumb by Cardinal’s care for these young people. He is their guardian, in so many ways. Ben hopes Cardinal’s care and Bat’s escape will be enough to give them a future.  

“In that case, I’d appreciate the help,” Ben says, resolving to take a chance on Cardinal. Cardinal nods, taking it as a dismissal, he does an about face and starts toward the mechanism that lowers the gangplank.

“One more thing, Captain!” Ben calls. “Get your young ones to be more discreet. Just for the rest of the day.”

Cardinal gives Ben a grim nod and replaces his helmet.

Perhaps Ben’s luck would hold for the rest of the day.

* * *

Once the plan starts it goes quickly...and then falls apart.

It’s nightfall, the production plant has been emptied, the slaves are waiting for the signal and--

BOOM!

It’s a crude bomb, made from materials Ben found around the facility, but it produces a lot of fire--and really, that’s the whole point. It doesn’t need to do damage, it just needs to be flashy enough to keep the administration’s attention away from the portion of the compound that has been set aside for the slaves.   

Ben has to trust that FN-2187, Cardinal, and Bat are performing their parts: getting the slaves from their shantytown to the ferries and then to the Carrier, positioned over the planet.

Ben’s part is to distract Hux, and those loyal to him, for as long as he can. He knew there was a likelihood he’d have to fight. Hux and Phasma were intelligent and had a group of former First Order Stormtroopers--adults who had chosen to integrate into the Empire--at their command.

Yet, resistance came from an unlikely front.

While Hux and Phasma were coordinating their forces to put out the fire, Ben is  approached by a harried Shi’ko.

“Quick, Ben,” she says, her voice strained with urgency. She gestures to the south, where Ben knows the slaves are boarding shuttles, even if the smoke from the fire and a favorable wind helps obscure that fact from everyone else. “The troops are escaping.”

Ben looks to her in disbelief. He’d thought surely Bat would have invited her to defect with him. Apparently not, because here she is: outside of the burning building, unaware of the plan, and unaccounted for. So much for Ben’s leadership skills.

It’s too soon to have a scene.

“Stand down, Shi,” Ben hisses. “Let it happen.”

Shi’ko’s face twists in disbelief. “What? Ben, Vader’s going to--”

“Vader gave me lead on this mission,” he reminds her, trying to keep his tone even, in an attempt to calm her down. “Shi, stand down.”

Shi’ko appears to be ignoring him, she starts looking around them, frantically; looking into the fire and then into the night around them. “Where’s Bat?”

Ben swallows, heavily. Why didn’t Bat tell her himself? Why would he leave this up to Ben?

“Doing what he thinks is best,” Ben tells her, grimily. She’s stopped searching and is staring with disbelief at a fixed point. Ben glances toward where she’s looking and--yes, there’s a freighter taking off. It’s barely visible in the dark distance, rising through the smoke into the gathering clouds above.

Shi looks at him with horror. “You’re letting him go?” She asks, her voice small and heartbroken. She must have known of Bat’s misgivings if that is where her mind went first. Ben watches helplessly, as her dismay melts into disgust.

“DEFECTORS!” She screams, staring Ben down. “Near the south hangar!”

“Shi, what--”

The expression on Shi’ko’s face stops Ben short. It’s hatred.

“I won’t lose another home because of you, Ben Solo.”

Ben hesitates at her vehemence, hurt despite himself. Doesn’t she understand what he’s doing? Does she not see that this is the best thing Ben has done in years!

As he stares in disbelief at Shi’ko, he hears Hux give the order for half his remaining troops to subdue the deserters. The rest will be needed to put out the fire or the whole facility would be lost.

“Belay that order!” Ben commands, turning toward Hux. “This operation is over!”

No one listens to him and Ben notices Shi’ko reach for her weapon.

He commands to force to grab her, freezing her in place. She can’t move but the hatred in her eyes burns.

He can’t deal with her now. She has ruined all of his hard work. She’s put Bat’s life in danger. It’ll be a miracle if any of the troopers get away. If Ben tries to confront her now, with his anger rising by the second, he doesn’t know what he’d do. So he wills her away--out of his sight!--and the force sends her flying with a cry. At least something still listens to his commands.

In a desperate attempt to salvage the escape, he ignites his lightsaber.

Ben focuses his rage on the advancing form of  Captain Phasma, running south, towards the slaves. He uses the force to push his legs faster than hers, blocking her advance.

“Out of my way, scum!” She yells as she takes a moment to shoot at him. Ben deflects the blaster fire easily. Phasma seems to realize that he is an obstacle to fulfilling her objective and she unclips an electrostaff from her belt. Ben has only heard of these weapons. They were a First Order design; made specifically to match a lightsaber.

He grits his teeth and swings. It’s no great thing to deal with Phasma and the rogue troopers under Hux’s command. Or at least, that’s what Ben tells himself as he blocks Phasma’s swing and tracks the advancing troops.

He had killed Snoke, after all. He had taken on the remainder of his red guards, six years ago and new to the dark side and its uses. He could do this now. He could do it because the alternative was unacceptable.

Ben channelled his anger at Shi’ko for disobeying and at Bat for leaving. He channelled his hate for Hux and Phasma and their ilk. He channelled his hurt at his mother for taking six years to decide she missed him.

He took it into himself and with it caught in his chest--to where it felt like his ribs would crack under the pressure--Ben Solo sank into the force. It was cold. It was a comfort.

Phasma’s ferocity was nothing. The odds, the numbers, the fear of what Vader would say--or do--when he found out about Ben’s actions here, it all dissolved into the force, which accepted all, greedily. It was replaced by the cold certainty of the dark side, which guided his hand to victory.

In the end, Ben thought all the transports escaped. He wasn’t sure and would likely never be sure. But Phasma, Hux, and many Imperial troopers lay dead in the mud.

It had started to rain. Heavy sheets that drenched Ben to the core as lightning lit the sky. Just underneath the roll of thunder Ben hears a sound, awful and raw and keening. He follows to find Shi’ko Lome, sobbing in the mud.

Ben watches her for a while, and as he does the effects of the dark side eek out of his body. The dark is a blessing. It allows Ben certainty in his actions and measure of numbness to the carnage he commits. With it gone so quickly Ben feels empty and sad. He'd done what needed to be done. He was sure of that. So why did he feel like a failure in the aftermath? Why did watching Shi dry heaving with despair fill him with regret?

Then he remembers: as a child, Shi’ko hadn't wanted to join Luke. She'd wanted to stay home. Her family had insisted she go.

The dark side makes him Kylo Ren, that make believe persona who does bad things for Ben Solo, but it is always Ben who is left with the consequences in the wake of Kylo’s disasters. Right now, he is Ben Solo, drenched in blood, again. Surrounded by corpses, again. And Shi’ko is hurt, again.

Just like the last time, there’s nothing else to do, except gather what’s left of his allies and seek Vader’s protection.


	7. Chapter 7

It takes hours to get to Takodana. Or, at least Rey thinks it does. There’s no sun in hyperspace to measure the time by and she is not speaking to Ahsoka, so asking is out of the question.

Ahsoka still speaks to her. Reminding her to eat and showing her how to use the sonic fresher. Little things like that that make Rey feel guilty for being angry, which in turn makes her angrier.

Rey scavenges clothing from the crew quarters of _The Millennium_ _Falcon_ to try to keep herself busy—to keep her mind off of her anger and the reasons for it and the uncertainty of her own future. Where is she going? Who will be taking her there? Will they be kind? Is she really a force user? Does that mean she’s in danger? 

When Rey emerges from the sonic, blasted clean and wearing her finds (musty and several sizes too big for her; manufactured for an adult, no doubt) she’s called into the cockpit by Ahsoka. She considers ignoring her, but hyperspace is boring.

“Jakku is the only planet you’ve been to, right?” Ahsoka asks when Rey begrudgingly enters the cockpit. She’s fiddling around with switches and dials, not actually looking at Rey.

Rey doesn’t answer.

“Either way, you’ll want to see this,” Ahsoka assures, in Rey’s silence.

Gently, Ahsoka pulls the lever that drops them out of hyperspace. Takodana fills the viewport. It’s green and blue. Rey had been unconscious for the flight from Jakku but she had seen so little green in her thirteen years that she imagined her home planet hadn’t been green from this far away

“Can I land us?” Rey asks, momentarily forgetting her anger in the face of new experience.

“Uh—no,” Ahsoka says, giving Rey a tentative smile. “You’ll want to look around.”

“What do you mean?”

While they spoke, Ahsoka was bringing the ship into its descent. They broke atmo and as Rey watched the featureless green sharpened into masses of trees with vibrant leaves and she gasped in awe. 

“I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy.”

Ahsoka smiles, delighted by Rey’s reaction. “You haven’t seen anything yet,” she assures her. Rey moves eagerly from the cockpit entrance to the co-pilot’s seat to get a better view.

“Will I?” She asks, quietly, her eyes absorbing this new sight greedily. She feels oddly vulnerable. She’s scared and unwilling to trust Ahsoka, after being kidnapped, but Ahsoka is also the only adult who has ever been kind to Rey. The only adult who has ever wished to share something with her. She thinks Ahsoka will be honest with her. Even if Rey is scared of the answer. “See the whole galaxy, I mean?”

“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you,” is Ahsoka’s earnest reply.

It wasn’t really an answer but a part of Rey appreciates the reminder. She may not be ready to trust Ashoka again but her honesty puts Rey on the edge of hope. 

* * *

They stayed for two weeks at the castle on Takodana while they wait on Leia. Maz’s castle, Ahsoka calls it. 

Maz is a small, good natured woman who treats Rey as if she knows her already and looks at her like she’s seeing into her. It’s unnerving, but comforting, to be seen and greeted like a person. 

It’s unlike anything Rey has ever dreamed of. She eats every day, whether she helped around the cantina or not. In fact, Maz encourages Rey _not_ to help. Maz also insists that Rey eat at least three times a day. And always gives her more food, if Rey asks for it. She’d made herself sick the third day, testing the limits of Maz’s generosity. 

Ahsoka had turned away from the sight of it with a disgusted noise but Maz had just laughed.

“You’ll have to learn your limits,” she’d said, thumping Rey on the back so hard that she cringed. “Try not to gorge yourself next time, though.”

The patrons of Maz’s castle were rambunctious but mostly left Rey alone. If anyone did get any strange ideals about her, Maz and Ahsoka were quick to jump to her defence. 

Rey could take care of herself, had been doing so for years, but she’s never had anyone care enough to help before. Therefore, she was warily grateful but also deeply unnerved by Ahsoka and Maz during these weeks.

* * *

“Don’t go!” 

Rey awoke with a start. The pleading cry fresh in her ears. 

Who was that?

Quietly, Rey eased out of her cot and across the room to peak around the flimsy room divider. Ahsoka’s bed was empty.

It was early enough that the sun was still weak and Rey had nearly convinced herself it was only her imagination when she heard another yell; high and childlike. 

Rey ran with no more hesitation. She followed the cry deep, down into Maz’s castle. All the way down into the cellar but she found no one. Instead, she still _feels_ the cry—like a vibration in her bones.

Rey looked around the few rooms in the cellar until something caught her attention: there’s a wooden box set atop a pile of junk. She couldn’t say why it was special, but the knew this feeling and those cries are coming from there. Rey knew that this makes no sense, but she also knew that it’s true. Things don’t always have to make sense to be true.

Cautiously Rey enters the room and opens the box. It’s mostly empty, except for a silver cylinder. The crying rings in Rey’s ears. She reaches out and grasps the object— 

 

Rey is back on Jakku and she is very small; lost on the floor of a cantina while adults laughed and dranks around her. Near, but ignoring her. Her parents are here, but everyone is so tall she can’t distinguish between her parents and the other adults. She feels tears prick her eyes but she’ll be in trouble if they catch her crying. Such a waste of water.

She’s no longer in the cantina, she’s sitting in the sand while someone behind her pulls her hair into too tight buns, cursing the matted mess of it.

She’s standing in the midday sun at Niima Outpost, her shoulders and face blistering in the heat. Plutt is in his stand, scowling at a man. Then the man is looking down at her with disdainful hazel eyes—Rey recognizes him by the eyes, not because she remembers him, but because they are her eyes. They are the eyes she inherited from him.

“How much for the girl?” he asked, his voice like shifting sand.

And then a ship was flying away and she was in Plutt’s grip, crying for them not to leave her.

Rey was crying. Rey was hurt. And there was no one who cared. No one to comfort her.

Finally there was a dark haired man in heavy black armor, looking at her like she’s everything. “I don’t think I have a home to go back to,” he tells her. “Not really.”

 

—Rey comes out of it with Ahsoka’s hand on her shoulder; she is still in the cellar of Maz’s castle on Takodana.

“What was that?” She gasps, tears streaming down her face.

Ahsoka looks at her with curious excitement. “Did you see something?”

“I saw a lot of things. I saw—”

“Ah—ah,” Ahsoka’s shaking her head. “Visions are personal. It won’t mean anything to me.”

“Was it supposed to mean anything to me?”

Ahsoka looks at her sadly. “A vision is only as much as you take from it. Think on it. Or forget it. It’s up to you. But try not to take action because of what you see,” she winces as she says this, for reasons unknown to Rey. “That never ends well.”

Rey wants to stop crying but she can’t stop thinking about those hazel eyes.

Ahsoka says nothing for a moment, letting Rey compose herself.

“Hey, is that a lightsaber?” She asks eventually. When she has decided that’s enough tears, Rey supposes.

Rey wipes her face and looks down at the cylinder still in her hand. “I found it. It gave me the vision.” 

Suddenly fearful of the thing, she thrusts it at Ahsoka.

“No, it didn’t,” Ahsoka says, pushing it back toward Rey. “It called to you. Still think you’re not force sensitive?”

Rey grimaces. Small and skinny, the lightsaber looks wrong in her hand.

“Take it or leave it,” Ahsoka says, her voice mournful. “But the Empire mined it’s core component to near extinction. So, you’ll likely never get another.”

“Won’t Maz be angry if I steal from her?”

“Maz understands the Force. Besides, it’s not hers. Come on. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

* * *

Rey had heard stories and seen images of Leia Organa. Most of them came from decades old wanted files in the data banks of star destroyers. A few times she’d seen travelers share a current holovid of a particularly rousing speech given by Leia Organa in the Senate. She’d heard much more stories but they painted similar pictures to the woman she had seen in those holos. 

Leia Organa was regal and proud and defiant. She was a fighter and a thinker and she made demands and gave orders. She was someone to look up to.

Ahsoka lead Rey to a room deep in the castle with only a table and a woman staring at an incomplete holo of a map. The woman turned when they entered and Rey recognized her immediately.

“Rey, good, there you are,” Leia Organa said, as though she and Rey had met before, as if they were friends. “Come here and tell me what you see.” 

Rey glanced at Ahsoka who just shrugged. 

Rey stood beside Leia. They were the same height.

“Uh…” Rey said.

Leia gestured to the projected holo.

“It’s a map.”

“Is it?” Leia asked, squinting up at the holo herself.

“It’s a piece of one.”

“It is!” Leia looked at Ahsoka expectantly. “It’s a _piece_ of a map.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. 

“I thought my eyes might be failing me in my advanced age,” she said to Rey in a theatrically loud whisper. “But they aren't deceiving me. This,” she gestures to the holo, “is a _clue_ in the worst scavenger hunt in the galaxy.”

“These things take time,” Ahsoka said, defensively.

“It’s been nearly six years.”

“ _I_ haven’t been looking for six years.”

“I know,” Leia sighed, finally relaxing her posture. She leaned over the table and switched off the projector. “I have a feeling it’s going to be more difficult to maneuver from now on.”

“A Force feeling or…?”

Leia grimaced. “I no longer have senatorial access to archives.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m no longer a senator. Haven’t you seen the news?”

Ahsoka gave her a look but said nothing.

“The secret’s out. My influence in that avenue is over.”

“People found out you’re Luke’s sister? How would that change—”

“ _The_ Secret _._ ”

“Oh.” There was a heavy silence. “What are you going to do now?”

“Well, the Resistance just went from a side project to priority number one.”

“Leia,” Ahsoka was shaking her head. “You can’t fight him.”

“Don’t bother,” Leia waved a hand dismissively at Ahsoka. “People have been telling me I can’t fight for years— ‘You can’t fight the Empire.’ ‘You can’t fight injustice.’ ‘You can’t fight destiny.’—When has that ever stopped me?”

“Fine, you _shouldn’t_ fight him.”

“Fight who?” Rey asked, tired of being ignored. Ahsoka looked at her a little guiltily, like she’d forgotten she was in the room. 

Leia just smiled at her. It wasn’t a pleasant smile. It was a dangerous smile. “Darth Vader.”

“Why shouldn’t you fight him?” Rey asked, baffled. She’d heard stories about the leader of the empire—none of them pleasant. Those stories made him seem like exactly the type of person that good and noble Leia Organa would oppose. 

“Because he’s my father.”

Rey thought of hazel eyed man she’d seen in her vision. She had no response for Leia.

* * *

It takes several days for Ahsoka and Leia to iron out their next move in the search for Luke Skywalker. In that time Leia asks Rey to take her to where they landed _The_ _Falcon_. 

Leia walks through the ship reverently. Occasionally touching a nick in the wall panelling, or lifting a long pale hair off the upholstery, or caressing the countertop of the galley. 

Rey tries to give her privacy. 

Eventually she grows quiet and pensive in the cockpit. She’s sitting in the seat behind the pilot’s chair. When Rey enters and takes the seat across from her she notices that Leia has the golden dice in her hand. 

“My son used to play with this, you know,” she told Rey. “When he was a boy.”

Rey thinks of the dream she had that first night on _The_ _Falcon_ —of the boy with the dark eyes. And, absurdly, of the man in the black armor in her vision.

“Where is he now?”

Leia shrugged. “I lost him. Oh don’t give me that look. I didn’t lose him like your parents lost you.”

“Ahsoka told you?” Rey asks, and she finds herself offended by the implication that Ahsoka is sharing Rey’s story so readily without Rey present.

“Of course. I’m supposed to take you, aren’t I?”

“Are you?”

Leia says nothing. Just stares at the dice. Rey gets the feeling she’s thinking about her own child and not about her impending responsibility for Rey.

Finally she jerks herself out of her reverie and asks: “Now tell me. Wherever did you find that lightsaber?”

Rey looks at the offending object, clipped to her belt.

“It was in the basement. Ahsoka says it called to me.”

Leia’s expression was impassive to Rey but she got the impression that her mind never rested.

“Luke was carrying that saber when I met him. He lost it on Bespin a lifetime ago…He lost a hand with it. I don’t suppose Maz was keeping _that_ down there?”

Rey thinks of the man in Plutt’s shipyard, his severed hand entwined in her hair, and grimaces. “Here,” she says, unclipping the saber and trying to push the saber into Leia’s hand. “If it was your brother’s you can give it to him when you find him.”

Leia’s shaking her head before Rey finishes speaking.

“Don’t give that thing to me! It called to you. You’re stuck with it now.”

“What?!”

“Luke made a new one after he lost that. It’s your responsibility now. I hope I never see it again.”

Rey didn’t know how to feel about this so she stops talking to Leia.

* * *

Leia does not stay on _The_ _Falcon_ for long after their conversation. She claims that she has a comm to make. She asks Rey to fetch Ahsoka and together the two women sit on a comm with Leia’s husband: The Han Solo. 

Leia allows Rey to sit in on the call as well when she shows an interest. 

“Good news or bad news?” Leia asks when the face of a man manifests over the table. “What'll you have first?”

The man is older than Rey imagined, but then again, she’d never seen an image or holovid of Han Solo; she’d only heard stories. 

“Give me the bad news, sweetheart,” he says to Leia with a smirk, as if any news from her mouth couldn’t be all that bad.

“The map Ahsoka got is incomplete,” Leia says with a sigh. “So there's that.”

“Huh,” Han considered this. “Told you it was a long shot.”

“Don't,” Leia said sharply, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at the projected image of Han.

“There are ways we can find the other pieces,” Ahsoka says, placatingly.

Han looks away from Leia and regards Ahsoka. “Yeah? Like how? It took you years to catch wind that San Tekka had a map.”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes. “Ways that I'm not foolish to discuss on a comm in a crowded cantina.”

“Fair enough,” Han relents before turning back to Leia. “What's the good news?”

“Ahsoka has found _The_ _Falcon_.”

Han’s eyes widen in delight. “I knew it was a good idea to hire her! Leia didn't I tell you it was a great idea?”

Leia looks to Ahsoka. “His exact words were: ‘What a waste of money,’” she says drily, causing Rey to laugh in surprised delight.

“Oh don't say that!” Han objects. “Where is she? I'll go now.”

“The ship is here,” Ahsoka tells him.

Han raises an eyebrow. “What happened to the ship we got you?”

“I wasn’t the only person looking for the map,” Ahsoka tells him. “The ship was a casualty. We used _The_ _Falcon_ to get from Jakku to Takodana.”

“Jakku!” Han says, exclaims. “That Junkyard?!

Rey hears an indignant roar from Han’s end of the connection. 

“I know, I know,” Han looks over his shoulder, and then he turns back to ask Ahsoka: “Wait we? Who’s we?”

Ahsoka tilts the projector to get Rey in the shot. 

“Meet Rey,” she says.

“Hullo,” Han Solo says to Rey with an easy, crooked smile. “Did you help rescue _The_ _Falcon_?”

“No,” Rey tells him, honestly. “But I've been cleaning the sand out of it for days.”

Han winces and Ahsoka turns the camera back to her and Leia.

“I can be there in three days to get _The_ _Falcon_ ,” Han says.

“Sounds good,” Ahsoka says with a nod. “For my next ship I was thinking a—”

“Let her keep it, Han,” Leia interrupts, much to Rey’s surprise. Ahsoka looks as taken aback as Rey feels. “You’re not going to use it. This way you know where it is.”

“Please no,” Ahsoka hisses to Leia, horrified.

“I’ll know where she is if _The_ _Falcon_ is in the hanger of my freighter,” Han argues.  
“This is true,” Ahsoka says. “I’ll need a better ship anyway.”

“Better ship?!”

Ahsoka’s shaking her head at Han’s reaction. “That was not meant to be a challenge.”

“There isn’t a better ship in the whole galaxy,” Han insists. 

“Let her use it, Han,” Leia says, throwing an amused look to Rey. “She’ll come to love it.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of!” Han cries.

Ahsoka puts her hands up in a placating gesture. “I'd hate to keep you from your beloved ship one second longer.”

“Y-you just want to get rid of her!” Han splutters, outraged. “Well I'll have you know she's the fastest ship in the galaxy.”

“So you say.”

“Made the Kessel run in twelve parsecs.”

“I've heard it was more like fourteen.”

“And who told you that? Lies and slander! It was twelve. I was there. I was the kriffing pilot!”

“As you say.”

“Fine,” Han spits. “Take her. Leia's right you'll come to love her. And maybe it'll keep you from losing more ships.”

“It wasn't my fault,” Ahsoka wails.

“As you say,” Han says, snidely. To Leia he says: “So I heard you got some time on your hands, Princess. What's next?”

“I need to touch base with the Resistance. See what they need,” Leia tells him.

Han looks at her in disbelief. “What about Ben?”

Leia raises her chin. “What about him?”

“You and I can go find him while Ahsoka is off looking for Luke,” Han says.

“We've talked about this. It's not the same.”

Han’s face is thunderous. “How?”

“I just know it's not. Ben doesn't want to be found.”

“And you think Luke does?!”

Suddenly Ahsoka has Rey by the arm and is pulling her out of her chair and away from the arguing couple. "Let’s give them a moment," she says when they are out of earshot.

Rey looks up at Ahsoka, a bad feeling churning in her gut. “Who’s Ben?”

“Their son.”

Rey felt her stomach drop. Leia had said that she hadn't lost her son the way Rey had been lost, but from what Rey had just heard it didn't seem like there was much difference.

Fighting a feeling that she can’t name, Rey jerks her arm out of Ahsoka’s grasp. Ahsoka stops and turns to her, confused. 

"I'm not staying with these people,” Rey tells her. Her stomach sour. “I'll steal a ship if I have to."

Ahsoka regards her for a moment and then swallows heavily. "Don't say that."

"You don't believe me?" Rey challenges.

"That's not the problem,” Ahsoka says. “The problem is that I have utter faith in you."

That didn't sound like a problem to Rey. She said nothing and Ahsoka studied her.

"I wasn't looking for a padawan," she finally said, quietly.

"I don't know what that means," Rey admitted.

"A student of sorts. Someone who learns the ways of the Force. That's what you'd be if you went with me."

Was that what she was asking to be? She'd thought she was begging not to be abandoned again. Asking to be a student sounded better. Less weak. But Ahsoka looked hesitant. And hadn't Ahsoka left her on Jakku? But that had been to complete her mission and at least Ahsoka came back. At least she was an evil Rey was familiar with. Leia was virtual a stranger who didn’t want to look for her son. 

“That doesn't sound so bad.”

“I'll think about it.”

With that Ahsoka walks outside and Rey ambled over to the bar where Maz is whipping a glass to shine. 

Maz says nothing as Rey seats herself on an empty stool. She just looks at Rey with a sad knowing look. Finally, she passes Rey a fizzy clear drink. 

“What's this?” Rey asks.

“It's not alcohol but it'll help settle your stomach.”

Maz had a way of knowing just what someone needed. Rey's stomach was in anxious knots.

"I don't know why I feel this way," she said taking a cautious sip. It was sweet and the bubbles burst on her tongue.

“Yes. You do,” Maz tells her, not looking up from her chores.

Suddenly Rey was incredibly grateful to the matron of this establishment. She wished she could stay with her and work at the cantina. She'd do about anything, honestly, to have a place she could be. A place where someone cared if she was there or not. But Rey doesn’t ask Maz if she could stay. She doesn’t want to be a burden on someone she considered a friend.

While Rey was sipping her drink a young man came running through the crowded cantina and up to the bar. He was human and wore black armor with an insignia scratched off in several places. 

“Are you Maz?” He asks, leaning over the bar to speak to Maz. There’s a frantic edge to his voice and something familiar about his armor that Rey can’t place.

“The one and only,” Maz answers, leaning on an elbow on the bar. “What can I do for you?”

“Please,” the man begs. “I was told that you could get in contact with Leia Organa. I have an urgent message for her.”

Maz looks the young man over carefully, adjusting her glasses as needed. The man looks uncomfortable but endures it. Maz must reach some consensus on the man’s character because she looks at him solemnly. “On my life, I will get this message to Leia….”

The man looks relieved but Maz is taking a great breath.

“HEY LEIA!!” She yells, her call echoing through the castle. “MESSAGE FOR YOU!!”

* * *

The next day Rey said goodbye to Maz and packed her things (her quarterstaff, clothing that fit her, that Maz had given her in exchange for a few chores, and a gift of crudely made paper and a couple of pencils. A rare and precious gift that brought tears to Rey’s eyes when Maz had bestowed them on her.) and boarded _The_ _Falcon_ with Ahsoka. 

In the end it was the appearance of thousands of First Order slaves looking for Leia that sealed Rey's fate. Leia simply had too much on her hands to take care of Rey. 

Ahsoka had taken her from Jakku. Rey was Ahsoka’s problem. 

Ahsoka seated herself in the pilot's seat with a sigh. 

“Can I take us off?” Rey asks. She will make the most of this. She’ll have to.

Ahsoka raised a brow marking at her. "Let's see how you do as my co-pilot first. Then I'll let you fly."

Rey sighed and seated herself in her designated chair. 

Ahsoka chuckled. "Patience, padawan. You'll be a pilot before you know it."


	8. Chapter 8

The journey back to Mustafar feels like it takes twice as long since Ben is alone the whole time with his thoughts. 

Well, mostly alone. Shi’ko is usually silent, locked away in the brig. When she isn't eerily quiet, she's screaming obscenities at him. He doesn't know what to do with her. He doesn't know if he has done the right thing. 

He tries to think of anything except his choices on Bakura but his thoughts are a spiral, always leading back to his failures, one way or another. He feels trapped in them.

He hasn’t broken the spiral by the time he actually makes it back to Mustafar. He doubts he ever will.

As soon as Ben exits the ship he is told that Vader has been informed of his return and he wishes to see him immediately. News travels fast, it seems. He’s Vader’s Executor and he’s botched this mission. Of course, someone was going to tell Vader about it before Ben got a chance to plead his case.

Vader must not be pleased, how could he be? Ben has lost thousands of Empire citizens and personally killed a few.

Oddly, Ben doesn’t mind being a disappointment. He’s content with what he’s done, or numbed to it, at least. Is this what certainty feels like? Or is he just kidding himself? Creating his own calm before the storm? 

Ben directs two stormtroopers to transport Shi’ko. He asks them to take her to _The Devastator_ and deposit her in the medical facility there. It’s better than a cell and it’s better than her being on Mustafar with him.  

Recklessly, Ben decides his grandfather can wait a while longer. He needs to check something on the HoloNet first. He goes to his room and brings up a connected terminal and searches news for Leia Organa. The results are staggering in number but singular in topic. She’d said the lothcat was out of the bag. Now Ben knew exactly what she’d meant. 

The New Republic—and therefore, the galaxy at large—knew Leia was Darth Vader’s daughter.

Be tries to absorb this but he can’t imagine how she must feel, having her deepest secret make headlines. Having her whole life crashing around her…Well, he kind of had an idea about how that felt. Ben clicked a link at random. 

It was a gossip program where a group of four beings were dissecting Leia’s apparent disregard for the galaxy’s outrage. She had chosen to wear a black dress with a black cape to a senatorial function shortly after the news dropped. The commentators called it disrespectful and disparaging. They claimed to feel mocked.

Ben thought it was brave and bold and, frankly, hilarious. He couldn’t help but laugh a little. If he was still in contact with Leia—if everything had been different and he had been able to stay with her— they would have laughed about it together. Or, he wanted to think they would have. 

Had they shared a similar sense of humor? He honestly couldn’t remember. Thinking about it made him laugh harder, until his shoulders shook and there were tears in his eyes.

He was still laughing at the newscasters outrage when Vader let himself into the room. 

Ben looked up at the sound of the door opening, sees Vader looming in the entryway to his room and laughs harder. Had his small mother been able to loom so well in her black ensemble? He hopes so.

“I had sent for you,” Vader says, ignoring Ben’s hysterical cackling. 

Ben tries to stifle his laughter. “Have you seen this?” he asks, wiping his eyes.

Vader’s mask turns to regard the still of Leia in a dress that mimics Vader’s iconic silhouette. He answers with a simple: “Yes.”

Ben can hear the pride in that word. Or he thinks it’s there, at least, but prideful or not, Vader walks further into Ben’s room and turns off the terminal.

“That is old news now,” Vader tells him, looming over Ben. The door had shut when Vader moved out of its proximity. Ben can’t remember a time that his grandfather had entered his room. He’d offer him a seat but Ben was sitting in the only chair. What was so urgent that couldn’t wait? 

“Not to me,” Ben reminds him.

“The situation has changed and our plans must change accordingly.”

“Huh?”

“Your ascension.”

“Oh.” Sure _our_ plans. He’s curious despite himself. Surely Vader knows that Ben would be a terrible ruler. “Because mom has claimed you?” Ben isn’t surprised. She’d make a much better emperor than him.

“No,” Vader folds his arms over his chest and looks away. “Acknowledging shared blood is not the same as claiming me. She will not be brought into the fold.”

Ben blinked in confusion. He felt slow after so many days away; like Vader is several steps ahead of him in the conversation. 

“So what’s changed?” Belatedly, Ben remembers what Bat had said about Roth and Vader. “Are you taking Roth as an apprentice? Bat said you might.”

Vader’s mask turns to look at him but Ben can’t read the gesture. “Roth is dead,” Vader tells him without preamble. “There was a complication.”

“Oh…” Ben doesn’t know how to feel about that. He’s truly alone now. Bat has moved on, Shi hates him, and Roth is dead. He’s finally shaken off the last reminders of his time at Luke’s school. He can’t think about it now, with Vader over him. “Have the plans changed because of my failure on Bakura?”

“No, I’m pleased with your work there,” Vader says, much to Ben’s surprise. “Less headache for me.” He sounds genuine but Ben doesn’t understand. If he isn’t replacing Ben and he isn’t angry at Ben, then what has changed?

“I don’t understand.”

Vader uncrosses his arms and stares at Ben for a few of his breath cycles. Ben’s never had such an abysmal read on Vader’s mood before. It’s almost like there’s a different man inside of that suit. 

“Luke is alive,” Vader says, finally and Ben can hear the awe, even through the voice coder. Vader is excited by the news. That’s why Ben couldn’t read him. He’d never seen his grandfather express hope before.

Ben had known about Luke, but still, he feels dread hearing Vader say it.

“I see…” Ben says, carefully keeping his voice emotionless. “How does that change anything?” 

“I need to find him.”

“Why?”

“He’s my son.”

Part of Ben wants to shut down; act like this doesn’t bother him and let Vader do as he wishes. Instead, hearing Vader say this makes him angry. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Vader can’t have known that Luke is alive for very long and he is already making plans to locate him. 

It took Ben’s mother six years to send a communique. Even though she must have guessed where he was. His body wasn’t at the temple on Lothal and he hadn’t exactly been hiding his involvement in the Empire. He’s going by his own name. He is wearing no mask. She must have known exactly where he was for a long time. And she and Han are staying well away. 

Ben grits his teeth against his resentment. “Leia is your daughter,” he points out, his voice sounding bitter to his own ears. “But you make excuses never to contact her.”

Vader looks away. “Luke believed in me. I let him down.”

“He believed in me too. Until he didn’t.”

“What happened to you was regrettable—”

“Regrettable?”

“—and he needs to answer for that.”

“And you’ll make him?” Ben scoffs. “That’s why you want to look for him. Or is it because you see him as your last hope?”

Vader looks at Ben, silently for a long moment before admitting: “I love him.”

The admission settles uneasily over Ben. “I loved Luke, too. I won’t help you find him.”

“I’m not asking for your help,” Vader all but snarls. “I’m asking for your obedience.”

“Then you’re not _asking_ at all. What are your _orders_ , Lord Vader?”

Ben knows he has gone too far when suddenly it feels like the gravity on the planet has doubled. This is the dark side, responding to his grandfather’s anger. Surrounding everything and trying to crush Ben under the force of Vader’s will. His chest aches just trying to breath.

Vader shoves a finger in his face.

“Do not turn this into one of your despondent melodramas,” he warns, his voice dangerously low. Ben winces at the words. “I have spent years trying to form a relationship with you. I’ve given you the purpose you desired. I asked one caveat. That when the time came for me to give you the galaxy, you’d take it— It. Is. Time.”

Ben knows he shouldn’t provoke Vader’s ire further—he still feels the dark side closing in on him, after all—but he can’t help it.

 “And you expect the Empire to take me seriously because you say so?” He asks, sarcastically. “I’m going to be fielding coup’s for years.”

Vader’s anger must abade a bit because he can suddenly breathe easier.

Abruptly, Vader turns away, his hands on his belt. “They will not be taking orders from you. I’ve worked out the details. All you must do is be convincing.”

“Be convincing?”

“You will be ruling the galaxy in a replica of my suit. It’s being constructed now.” Vader must feel the horror Ben feels or see it on his face because he amends. “This is a temporary measure. You will be properly coronated when I’ve found Luke.”

“But if there are two Darth Vader’s running around—”

“It is past time for me to shed this skin,’ Vader declares. “Modern medicine is far beyond what it was when the suit was necessary for my continued existence.”

Ben didn’t want to be hurt by all this. He should be used to this. Stay here. Do this. Be good while I’m gone. We’ll do things properly in the future. It’s how his parents handled him, too, isn’t it? Expectations and stipulations and a legacy he didn’t want. 

How malleable he must seem to them. His mother had tried to shape him into a good son. Luke had tried to shape him into a Jedi. Now his grandfather is going to pour him into a Darth Vader mold.

Doesn’t Vader know this won’t work? Hadn’t he learnt that?

Ben should tell him he won’t do it. Ben should make plans to run again. He hadn’t been a child to be handled in a long time. But Vader was correct, Ben had technically agreed to this. 

Besides, Vader was the last family Ben had. And Ben had chosen family six years ago. He had no one else.

“You will do well,” Vader says in Ben’s silence. “I have utter faith in you, Ben.” Ben flinches at the praise. Vader stiffens at the reaction, but only for a second before he turns to leave.

“Sometimes you remind me so much of mom.” Ben tells his back, voice numb, even to his own ears. The implication is clear. Vader stops, turns to look at him. For a moment he just stands there and stares. Ben can tell from the set of his shoulders that he has something he’d like to say to that. Instead, his shoulders fall and Vader turns and leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was nice and angsty. Middle parts of a story usually are. Part 3 will show up eventually. I don't have a time frame but I am working on it. I'm hoping to take enough time planning and outlining that the updates come easier than they did with this part. 
> 
> Anyway, Thank you to everyone who has read and commented throughout this story. I'm so glad to have you all here. Your encouragement helps 💜

**Author's Note:**

> My Twitter is: https://twitter.com/disorientedscrb


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